Taking a fall break be back soon with some great stories Im working on   :)

Happy Fall Ya'll!

Halestorm Mayhem Solo Contest by Elena #ALittleMayhem

Plan ABCDEF..a funny thing happened to me on the way to work this morning

Lucky for me I got up a little early this morning ,I decided to take my time get to work early put on the coffee and relax. What a plan! It's going to be a beautiful day!  I made my way outside in the crack of dawn, still dark enough that the solar lights were still blazing lighting that path to my chariot. Pushed the start button and a little key icon came on. Whoa, what the..I never take my keys out of my purse. I have a snap hook just for that reason and keep them hooked to the zipper on the inside so I can just pull the keys out and use them without physically taking them out of my purse.

 When I was younger I would snap them to my belt loop and stuff them down in my pocket. I didn't like keeping keys or a drivers license in my purse in case it got stolen or lost if I was out somewhere and really didn't care that I had a bulge sticking out of my pants let em' think what they want, I have a ride home tonight. 

 I went back into the house to look around in the usual places and nothing. I figured the ghosts in my house wouldn’t take my keys I mean unless they are up to playing tricks again. I already warned them about leaving the lights on. Threatened them with "If you run up the electric bill your paying for it and that means get jobs you bums'! I figured they would blame it on the little old man that likes to bake cookies at night. When I try to grab one off the plate he disappears. I looked around again and didn’t see them so I woke  Sarah up and asked her where my keys were since she went to the post office the day before. Her reply “I don’t know” ..kids, is that the only sentence they know?

 I made her get out of her warm bed and look for my keys. Meanwhile the clock is ticking and I am not going to be late for work. I do not do late. Plus we have a point system and I already have a point looming over me like a black cloud.  I heard her on the phone talking to her boyfriend who was already at work and asked him if my keys were in his truck.

 Fuck..Fuck Fuck..breathe It's going to be a beautiful day Plan B:  I have another car I will just take that one, oh right the battery on the Blazer is dead . I procrastinated to long and kept putting off getting a battery because I'm to CHEAP to get one. Plan C:  let me grab a coat and take the Jeep the fresh air will do me good, hopefully the cracked windshield (thus this blog) wont get me pulled over, and the fact the tags are expired .Nope..not gonna happen I wont take the chance of getting pulled over this early in the morning. Fuck it, I'm going in. 

 Plan D: I'm not going in. The car is parked In front of the Jeep. Another strike, If I would have cleaned out the garage 4 months ago and got rid of all that hoarder crap my car would fit in the garage not parked outside behind the Jeep. Wait! What the hell am  I thinking!  If my child put my keys back in my purse I would be cruising to the classics singing off the top of my lungs and playing dashboard piano right now!  I guess it’s a toss up between the golf cart and the farm truck. If I knew I wouldn’t be late I'd take the the golf cart. My dad used to drive it around town all the time surly it gets good gas mileage.  After thinking about it and checking my clock I realized Plan E was the right choice.

 Plan E: The farm truck, oh yea! A  1988 GMC long bed 4WD . Slick multi colored paint job  rust, primer and a bumper that is held together with wire. The farm truck that I use around the place to pick up trash, tree limbs and smells like a musty old barn. I realized last summer the gas gauge was off 1/4 tank your on EMPTY! Took 2 mechanics to figure out I was out of gas. I'm going in. It's going to be a beautiful fucking day!

So off I drive into the morning in the farm truck, windows down grabbing the steering wheel tight praying to God to let me make it to work and please stop me from strangling my child… 

I drove 40 miles/hour all the way to work and prayed the whole time that the wheels wouldn't fall off of the thermostat wouldn't stick and over heat the engine. When was the last time I changed the oil? I parked in the far parking lot at work just in case the truck wouldn't start It would be easy to tow. 

The drive home aught to be pleasant with 90 + degree weather and the only air conditioning that truck has is windows down doing 70 miles/hour. It's going to be a beautifully fucking wonderful day!

The funny thing about driving an old truck that's multi colored and dented  is that people out on the road assume you drive a piece of shit you don't have insurance. I had the road to myself, no one got near me, tailgated me, passed me. cut me off, I was the king of the road! 

 I made it home parked the truck under a shade tree, well done truck..well done..I need something cold to drink and couch Oh wait, I don't have my keys  surly my child realized this and didn't lock the front door. Front door locked, dogs barking and scratching on the door. time for Plan F. I don't have a hide key and all my windows and doors are locked up tight..

I guess I will have to sit out here and wait until someone comes home. This had been a really Fucked up beautiful fuck fucking day! .

The scenic route, not so scenic latley

 Usually when I drive home from work and take the scenic route there is always something that catches my attention. I don't often take this route because I want to get home. I can ask myself the same question over and over but I can not give myself an answer. Get home to what? laundry? dishes? yard work? puppies and kitties? I do try and get home to let the pups out but taking  ten extra minutes after work to drive through town really isn't going to matter to the pups. They are always at the door eager to greet me.

 I like to ride through town, there is a little park with a fountain and there are always people there sitting talking, kids playing. It's nice to see that. I usually see folks riding their bikes or walking down the street pushing a stroller, hometown USA. Main street is lined with old buildings most of them are antique stores. I remember back in 19..er.. back in the day ( I am not giving my age away) there was a five and dime store with a little diner where you could get ice cream. I loved going in there with my mom. Sadly it burned down after it became an antique store. I knew I should have bought that mirror I had my eye on before it turned into dust.

 The coffee shop usually has folks sitting outside reading, sipping coffee or talking. Its nice to drive through and just absorb all the past and present. It is a get a way from the daily news feed I get via twitter that somehow recently makes me think how lucky I am to live here.

 My usual drive through the other day brought little satisfaction. I'm sure the heat and humidity had a lot to do with it. I even drove home with air on. I tried rolling down the windows but hot air blowing in my face isn't really a good way to de stress.  The park was empty even the fountain wasn't pumping its usually display of colored water. Not even a candy wrapper blowing in the wind. Ghost park. Main street was the same. There were cars lined up and down the one way street but I didn't see anyone walking or shopping. Were they inside in the cool air watching me? Zombie apocalypse?

 I decided to drive through the old neighborhood where I used to hang out. Homes for sale, homes in desperate need of repair. No kids outside playing. I pulled over and turned on some MP3 music to get me the rest of the way home. My last peaceful glimpse was of the church steeple rising up above  the trees. I pulled over to take a picture but the humidity kept fogging up my camera and I did not want to take a photo through the windshield. I made it home to the barking pleading faces of my puppies. I did a stop, drop and roll and let them jump on me and greet me in their usual fashion.

 I think I may need to wait a bit, when the weather starts to cool folks will come out of their air conditioned caves and then I will be writing about the fall and and sweet breezes. Until then I'm going to sit in my own air conditioned cave and do what I do.

A Kirby vacuum and some old keys

---

I recycle, repurpose, upcycle—basically, if it can be glued, painted, or turned into a questionable piece of home décor, I’m your girl. I’ll do anything to keep stuff out of the landfill. Noble, right? With that said… I currently have 4600 square feet of what some might call “treasure” and others might call “a cautionary tale” crammed in my basement. My three-car garage is stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey. The cars live outside now. They know their place.

Every closet in the house is bursting at the hinges. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a live-action episode of Hoarders R Us—minus the mystery feces and three-year-old tuna sandwiches. Although, I did once find something fuzzy in my daughter’s toy box that I thought was a dead mouse. I screamed like I’d just seen spider and called my dad downstairs. He took one look, casually picked it up (while I dry-heaved in the corner), and said, “Looks like a sandwich.” I’m sorry, what? I almost threw up all over my newly scrubbed floor. 

People are always giving me stuff. I’m not sure if they genuinely believe I can turn it into a gold mine, or if they just don’t feel like dragging it to the dump themselves. Either way, this is one of those stories—starring one lazy human, a vacuum, and my ex-husband. Buckle up.

So one day, my ex-husband (emphasis on ex) shows up with a Kirby vacuum cleaner that someone at work gave him. “It still works!” he says, all proud like he brought me a puppy or a diamond ring. It was an older model, but it looked decent…until I unzipped the bag cover. No bag. Just...the ghost of everyone else’s skin cells who’d ever vacuumed a carpet. I’m talking straight-up DNA soup. If I said it was “nasty,” that’d be a compliment. I tossed it into the back of the truck and hauled it to the dump like a bad habit. Good riddance.

Fast forward a couple days. I take the 150-step walk to my dad’s house to say hi. Donna tells me he’s been puttering in the shop. I find him out there, eyes sparkling like he just found buried treasure. “Come in, come in! Sit down!” he says, like he’s about to unveil a cure for arthritis.

He disappears down to the lower level of the shop, then comes back up beaming. “Look what I got! Some lazy ass threw this brand new vacuum away! Probably just didn’t want to change the bag!”

I slowly turn my head. Cue horror movie music. I know that vacuum. “Hey… that’s MY vacuum!”

He laughs as I tell him the tale of how I’d acquired and then dumped it like a hot potato. I demand it back—obviously. He grins and says, “Oh, I just sold it for twenty bucks! Works great! All it needed was a good cleaning.”

A cleaning. That’s all. Twenty bucks. And I’m the environmentalist here?!

We spent the rest of the day at his shop, sitting with a giant bowl of old keys between us. For hours we brainstormed brilliant ideas for those keys—art projects, wind chimes, maybe a weirdly menacing necklace. Spoiler: we didn’t do a damn thing. But the keys are safe. I think. They’re either in the garage, the basement, or possibly the upstairs closet… no, wait—maybe under the bed? I’ll find them. Someday. Probably when I’m looking for something else entirely. Like my sanity.

Four days off isn't enough time

 I love to be outside. I wish mother nature felt the same way about me. I've been off for a few days and didn't do squat, Nada, nothing. It was to hot and I have had a heat headache for about a week. That's what I call them, those headaches you get when you stay outside for a while in the humidity. When you wake up you feel like the guy from Pirates of the Caribbean who has the wooden eye and it squeaks, yep that's me the wooden eye guy.

 Now if you have a wooden eye I apologize I am not trying to make fun of you but you have to admit the wooden eye guy from the movie was pretty funny.

 I did the usual, laundry, dishes, scrubbed the toilet, watered the plants and kept water in the fountain outside for the birds. I had plans to clean out the basement.  2316 square feet of crap. I was tempted to call the Salvation Army and have them just take everything antiques and all.

 I feel that I am a simple person so where does all this crap come from? I don't go anywhere or buy anything but my basement looks like an episode of hoarders, minus the 3 year old tuna sandwiches. I've lived in this house for 4 years and still have stuff in boxes in the basement. Fiesta wear anyone? I hate that stuff and yet its packed away with the plates from different states. My mom used to buy a plate from the states we would visit and hang them up in the kitchen. I don't have room for plates I have Ironstone and some pottery collecting dust and cobwebs. I'm keeping the cobwebs until after Halloween.

 I just don't get it. I'm not attached to anything.I don't even have anything of value. The robbers that broke in my house several years back relived me of the valuables.  I could live in a Tepee, just give me music, books and indoor plumbing and I am good to go.

 So I am back to square one. Four days off and haven't accomplished anything except blowing up the lawnmower ( It won't go in gear) My blazer needs a new battery and a new owner. I'm down to one wine glass (damn stone floors) and my jeep needs a new windshield so Its tucked away until I can get that done.Since I can't mow the yard since I blew up the mower I guess I'm forced to get something done. I need another four days plus twenty maybe that's enough time to take off the trash...

plane crash on a deserted island

 My sister told some people she works with the difference between me and her. She said if we were on a plane that crashed on a deserted island she would be the one complaining that they should of packed more food and supplies. She said I would be the one saying "oh look, a barrel of rum let's have a party"...
It was unanimous that her co workers wanted to hang with me on the island. What can I say when life gives you rum throw a party!

Church Picnic? Oh you must not be a Catholic

I was at Kroger and got behind a older couple with what seemed like picnic supplies, table clothes, napkins, potato salad, drinks, and so on. I looked at the guy and said "Party must be at your place this weekend". his wife answered for him, she replied "It's for a church picnic." I looked back in their basket and said "Oh, you must not be Catholics there isn't any beer.". They didn't laugh, I did and so did the check out guy and the people behind me. The women gave me a snooty horrified look and her husband followed behind her. I said to the check out guy "They must be Baptist, me bad"...

Night time swimming #swimming

 Ahhh, night time swimming. The water is cool and calm, I could float forever. The pool light didn't come on, I guess I will have to call the pool man, drain the pool a bit and have him replace the bulb. Easy fix but am kind of glad it doesn't work. I'd be swimming with a thousand bugs hovering over the water. yuck. I have bug lights but who wants to swim in peace and hear bugs getting electrocuted? Not my idea of serenity.  I want quiet so I swam in the dark. Now for a good nights sleep!  Goodnight Beautiful world!

blond moment # 5,432

Blond moment # 5,432

 brought my kindle out by the pool, thought I would read while catching some sun. mmmmm. doesn't come on. I know it's charged. Tried shutting it down, then back on. After several attempts  I took off my sunglasses and hmmmmm screen is on, put sunglasses back on and the damn thing shuts off...

 oops...My sunglasses are the darkest prescription you can get can't see the kindle due to the sunglasses...audio books anyone? 

Neighbors having a party at 3AM #Harley #Drunk #Neighbor

 I read another blogger post about having to deal with noisy neighbors and it made me think of a time when I had the same situation. There is nothing like not getting enough sleep when you have to go to work the next day.

 I was still married at the time my husband was a manager at a telecommunications company and had 2 company phones, a personal phone a pager, yes I said pager and a laptop. Since they went off 24 hours a day outside noises should have not bothered me.

 I was having a good dream,  I was in the shower with Antonio Banderas and he was just about to wash my back when I heard the sound of Harley's being revved up. Dam it! Oh the irony I can't even cheat in my dreams. I looked out the window and saw the neighbors lights on and the sound of expletives and laughter came droning in with lightning speed. My husband now awake came over to the window too. He reached over and grabbed  the phone calling the neighbors. I heard him say "Hey, can you tone the noise down the kids are sleeping and we have to work tomorrow". I heard on the other end my neighbor telling my husband to fuck off and slam the phone down. My husband re dialed and this time he said he was calling the cops, the neighbor replied with "Go fuck yourself" and hung up a second time. I have to admit it was kind of funny but I did have get up in three hours and being a working parent of two children I am already sleep deprived. I started to get on my slippers.

 My husband at this point is turning on the bedroom light and re dialing the the phone for the third time. This time I heard him say, "Hey this is your neighbor, can you tone the noise down we have to work". No response just a dead line.

 I proceeded to put on my fuzzy slippers and walk through the yard over to the neighbors house. When I got there they had the bikes outside revving them up and hollering. When they saw me they all catcalled like I was a long lost relative and told me to come in and join the party. I shouted at them that I was not there to join the party that I had to fucking work the next day and I can't sleep with all the noise going on. You could hear a pin drop except for the really drunk guy that was laughing in the corner. I looked up at 5 or 6 ( I can't remember) men shooting eye daggers at me and their expression spoke for itself. I backed away to the door and told them to keep it down and slammed the door on my way out and where is my husband? yea, like he is a black belt and he can't defend his wife. Just like a man.

 I went back to the house fuming and had thoughts of actually calling the cops. My adrenal glands were pumping so I know I couldn't go back to sleep. I went in the bedroom, my husband already sleeping, and looked out the window. I saw the cars leaving and thought I would lay quietly for a while and calm down when I heard my neighbors truck start and saw the headlights going down the driveway. I said aloud " Oh hell no you just didn't".

 I put the fuzzy slippers back on and jumped in the car and followed my neighbor. I knew where he was going. When I pulled into the store he was already inside, buying more beer and cigarettes no doubt. I stood at the door arms crossed and tapped my foot. I asked him what the hell he was doing, to get his ass in his truck and get back home. he looked at me and said "Awe, come on  you were young once too." I said back "Dad, get in the truck and go back home, now." He did what I asked I took his car keys when we got back home and told him go to bed.

 Yes, my dad is my neighbor. I can look back now and laugh, sometimes I think the apples didn't fall to far from the tree but having kids changes a person. Sometimes I feel like I have another child in him. Maybe he needs a time out.

All I wanted was a nap

 It may have the been the pressure from the rain that was causing my headache or the 50 laps I swam in the pool the night before. Yes, I am exaggerating. I do not remember how many laps I swam but it felt like 50. My muscles were screaming. As I was driving home I thought I would curl up on the back porch and take a little nap before dinner, the rain would make a perfect lullaby.

 It didn't get a nap. I got this instead.

 I made my little nest on the couch with a down filled pillow topper, popped two aspirin, fixed myself a cold drink and laid down. Ah, the slight wind with the sound of the rain made me drift off into bliss. Until the cat started scratching  and meowing on the door. She wanted to curl up too and she would make me regret not including her in the first place since I included the dogs. If you have a cat you know what I am talking about. I got the cat all settled, she won and got my pillow. Ah, back to bliss, until the dog started barking at the cat because he could. No other reason, I think he likes the sound of his voice. I had to bribe the dog with a treat so he would leave the cat alone. It worked for a few minutes until the time I just drifted back to sleep.

 The dog barked at the cat, who hissed at the dog, who jumped at the cat, who swatted the dog and missed and got me instead. Nice, blood on my white pillow topper. By now my headache is turning into a migraine and all I wanted was a nap.

 I finally got everyone settled, got the dogs some bones this time and put the cat on the inside of the couch so the dogs couldn't see her, out of sight out of mind.  The rain picked up a little so I didn't have any trouble drifting back off to sleep again , ah bliss. Until the dogs decided they wanted to lay on the couch with me as well, the flokati rugs I guess weren't comfortable enough for them. One dog was behind my knee the other laid on my hip and it took her a few minutes to get comfortable since she was sliding off. At this point I didn't care all  I wanted was a nap.

 I fell back to sleep until the dogs started playing, thus bumping into the cat who hissed at the dog who barked in my ear. Full on migraine by now, I grabbed the dogs ball and threw it to get them off me. I threw it right into my glass lantern and broke it. I had to move the cat so I could get up and clean up all the glass before the pets cut themselves on it. All I wanted was a nap. I gave up on the porch and went inside I thought maybe if I just sit in the massage chair maybe I can take a nap. This worked great until a salesperson came to the door. I have clear  glass front doors with glass transoms and a row of windows off the porch without any curtains  so if someone comes to the door you cant peek at them first, they are just there. Of course both dogs are barking like crazy and my head is about to pop off. The salesman was nice and friendly I didn't run him off with the shot gun or anything I understand, folks need to make a living. I'm nice like that.

 I went and laid down in bed, my head hurt so bad my pillow felt like a rock, even my hair hurt. The sun started to come out and I have a round window over my bed that does not have a curtain over it. (how do you make a curtain for a round window anyway?) I pulled the covers over my head and slept, slept till dark. I woke up feeling worse then when I laid down I sat up and searched for my glasses in the dark, I know I left them right at the edge of my nightstand. oh, wait. I'm sitting on something..I turned the lamp on and realized I was sitting on my glasses, how the hell did they get in the bed? Luckily I didn't break them but the end pieces that go over your ear were chewed up. Only one thing can do something like that to a pair of glasses. BENTLEY JACK!!!!!!!



 All I wanted was a nap. Not a million dollars, not a dream vacation, just a nap. I still have a headache today not as bad though, I did go swim laps tonight so hopefully a good night sleep will end that and a trip to the eye doctor tomorrow to order some new plastic pieces for my glasses. I got the dog back, I gave him a bath, teach him to chew up my glasses.

 On a side note I've been typing this for almost an hour, and I haven't even hit the spell checker yet. I had to stop at least 3 times to let the cat in, the dog out, the dog back in, let one cat out and one in. the cat decided to lay on my computer while I was gone and erase half of my post when I screeched  I scared the cat who knocked over the router, the phone and spilled my drink.

 I have a new mission, I'm going to start cleaning the basement. I have 2316 square feet of empty space well...take away the furniture, art supplies, Christmas stuff and clothes that leaves 16 square feet. ( kidding) that I am turning into a den, workout room and a pet playroom. I am hoping that this will give them more room to spread out. . Ok karma you had your fun, run along now and bother someone else, all I wanted was a nap.

Bentley Jack, now he is taking a nap!

California dreaming and Tennessee mud #California #Tennessee #Ocean #Mud

I love swimming when the sun just starts going down, the water is calm and sparkly. As the sun  starts to fade the  water gets a shadow. It maybe that way in the early morning but I am not going to get up early and find out. Sunsets always remind me of the beach. I used to live on the beach and would spend most of my time walking, meeting people and relaxing, just taking in the sound of crashing waves and the smell of the sea. it was a good place to reflect. I collected a jar of colored glass and now you can buy it at the store in all different colors.  It was like having an outdoor living room. I remember a time when I wore pants and a jacket at night when I first moved there, people knew I was not a local, but soon afterward I didn't get cold anymore and would just wear a t-shirt over my suit in the summer. Beach hair, didn't care, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.  I can remember that feeling so clearly. After a while the beach became just the beach, the sand, the tar all over everything and the sunsets got less and less meaningful until they were gone and I knew I had to come home.

 Home is Tennessee. Dirt. I missed the dirt the most, that smell of earth in spring when it smells fresh and alive. Driving my jeep up the creek to find a quiet place to soak in the sun and chatter with my girl friends.Driving down dusty dirty roads in cut off jeans and cowboy boots. Jeep hair, don't care, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.

 I love the smell of hay and yes even having to shovel manure. When I go to a farm now and smell that hay and manure mix, I know that I am home.(unless you live on a farm that will not make sense to you)Being lazy in a barn loft on a rainy day is close to heaven. Farm life is hard but that is another post.I never get tired of the country, everyday is a new beginning I get eager to wake up and see what nature is giving me today. I love taking the boat to the river and staying all day from day break to dark, the water at dusk is glass, the river is quiet and all the boats have gone to sleep.It never gets old until days like today when the sun is casting shadows on crystal water and I start to long for the ocean again.

 I always thought if I had a ranch on the beach I would never want for anything ,riding bareback on the sand.....stop...reality check. this aint no romance novel. Maybe I need to plan a vacation back to the beach for a few weeks get my fill, let my cup run over and come back home. Home to dirt, dust, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.

 Farm life actually sucks, really that may have to be my next post, deballing cows anyone?

View from the pool

The view from the pool today. I was looking up and this is what I saw . I was laying on my float and just floating around thinking, listening. I don't remember even hearing any birds, I did hear an occasional motorcycle and the humm of the pool filter. It was heaven on earth and I enjoyed it so much that I am sunburned even after SPF 50. My farmer tan got darker and the white parts got pink but it will tan off tomorrow. I have to go back to reality and go to work in the morning. 4am comes early..too early..Good night beautiful world. xoxo, how come when I type xoxo I think of the show Gossip Girl. yes I just admitted i watched it. night ya'll

What is it with celebrities and models? #beauty #reality

 What is it with celebrities and models? 

 I was at work taking my lunch and someone left a copy of People magazine on the table. The copy had a photo of Prince William and his new baby Charlotte, so I thought awe how cute, let me look.

 Who are these people? I only saw one face I recognized and that was Ian Somerhalder and his new wife. I did not know he got married I follow ISF on twitter; I must live in a cave. Good for him by the way he seems like an amazing person if what I read is true and am glad he found someone to share his life with. As I was scrolling through the magazine I saw captions that read something like celebrity dating Russian model, celebrity dating Brazilian model who doesn’t speak English, celebrity dating polish model. I could not recall names but WTF? Do we really live in a shallow world? I could also ask myself if I believe everything I read but the photo’s looked like they speak for themselves.  I remember years back reading an article about Leonardo DiCaprio saying he only dates models, well buddy they must be after the $ cause you ain’t no pin up yerself. (Say that with a southern accent)

  You never hear of a celebrity dating a rocket scientist or a model citizen saving the world, feeding the hungry taking care of the poor. I guess being smart and curing diseases isn’t sexy in today’s standards. There is a saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Whoever said that must have been blind. If I said I didn’t drool over a hot looking guy I would be a liar. Most guys I know that are considered hot are assholes. 

 There was this guy when I was younger who all the ladies thought he was so hot, he came into my work and put an application in and tried to sweet talk me into putting a good word for him, I threw his application in the trash and he saw me do it. I’m shuddering thinking about it and not in a sexual way in a gross, fucked up bastard kind of way. Where is he now? Toothless, Unemployed, and whats with those jailhouse tattoos? He still thinks he is hot. Maybe I just contradicted myself , perception  and everything but damn.  Beautiful people are a product of the environment they live in. They get more attention, praise and over time get used to getting things they want because they are pretty. I’ve never met a pretty person that ever got a speeding ticket. We have become powerless over beautiful people, same goes for rich folks weather they are pretty or not. That arrogant self that comes from years of getting what they want because of who they are.

 I’m not saying that if you are rich or beautiful you’re ugly on the inside I am not trying to judge, it’s what I have experienced in my life that draws me to conclude. I saw a makeup video from a Victoria secret model and she was talking about fashion and I wanted to send her a fashion for dummies book, I mean really honey it’s called a ruche, even I know that and my clothes come from Goodwill. Her makeup tip didn’t work; did she invent this from her crayon box? and honey hire a maid the grout in your bathroom is disgusting. I would be ashamed to even post that, I guess she thought everyone would be looking at her. 

 I am not one of the beautiful people, if I was I wouldn’t be writing this. I would be writing about ugly people and how they should all be sent to an island so the pretty people can have the world to themselves. I even heard from someone that my older sister was my dad’s favorite because she was the prettiest. Thanks dad.

  We live in a society that reels on what we look like on the outside. It is shoved down our throats every time we turn on the TV or worse surf the net. I saw some photo’s of young mothers taking booty shots, one mother was taking a selfie in the bathroom while her child was in the bathtub behind her obviously falling under the water you could see his feet kicking. I couldn’t look anymore. Is that really what people think this world is about? I’m getting sick and angry.

 My boss always says perception is everything; it is not, only the shallow people see what’s on the surface. For example I read a twitter post of a young DJ at a resort looking at his phone and they put a caption on the photo as something like DJ hard at work checking his face book. I looked at it and thought maybe he was looking up some music or something for his job, maybe his boss was texting him, or maybe it was his wife or other half saying he had a sick child at home. The photo was put out there for the world to see the perception of one person. We think if someone has white chalky  teeth they are healthy, or if they are skinny and pretty they are perfect. I saw a photo of a model and the caption read she has an amazing body. Really? She is almost 6 feet tall and is all arms and legs, no boobs, no butt, no muscle tone and she is amazing? I’m sorry but if I reverse that I want a man with a little bit of meat on him, you know something to grab on to. Ahem. I will stop there. Do you think a celebrity would post photos of themselves on instgram without being doctored first? We the consumers think this is real beauty. Estee Lauder had a makeup campaign with a model showing flawless skin that looked plastic. I have used Estee for years and my skin doesn’t resemble that. I quit using their products. I’m not a scientist but I’m guessing good ol’ genes have a lot to do with that to start with.

 Beautiful and sexy doesn’t have to come in the obvious forms. I can go on and tell you my views on that (read my 50 shades post) I can rant and rave and will it make a difference? Probably not. Do I care if I have offended anyone? No, you can argue with me, agree with me or UN friend or follow me. My opinion to me is all that matters..

Jeep riding with the pups

during 

after..I took a nap too lol 

Ozzy, black nail polish and cowboy boots

 High school, I really really do not want to go there but I will for the sake of my love for music.  I saw a post from Classic Music FM about teaching theory to kids and it reminded me of high school. I won’t elaborate but I will say I was not a studios child I was the cool kid. Cool kids didn’t take theory classes, not until I came along in my Ozzy shirt and black nail polish.

 The break area was outside the music room so we got to see the nerdy kids leaving class, we didn’t speak, and it was so awkward you could hear a pin drop. I dropped the idea that one of us should take the class just to piss them off; as my luck would have it I got nominated since I was the only one of my group that had any musical experience. Inside I was happy; I found a loop hole in!

 I showed up the first day and every day after in my usually attire of band t-shirts, cowboy boots and flannel shirts. I made some nerdy friends, they were actually kind of cool although I would never admit that. I learned a lot and even had to sing which I hated since I was the only person in my class that wasn’t in the choir. My teacher treated me like the other kids, I wasn’t singled out because of the way I looked I even liked her as well and stayed after one day and played a piece by Chopin. She was impressed that I knew more about Beethoven than she did and that I had a passion for knowledge and appreciated music being so young.  I didn’t care anymore that the cool kids could see me through the window. I wasn’t inducted into the nerdy kid’s society by any means I was still the cool kid that could play Chopin, and Zeppelin, and sometimes both at the same time. I said that correctly. Try it sometime.

  My music teacher even said she would put me in the chorus. I declined I wasn’t ready for the world to see me in a robe with my  Ozzy shirt, black nail polish, and cowboy boots.

David

I’m tearing away, pieces are falling, I can’t seem to make them stay…..break…

According to Webster’s dictionary the word grieves means: to cause to suffer, burden, heavy.

 I couldn’t explain how I feel any better than Webster’s.  I have this profound grief in me that feels like the insides of my body are being ripping apart. I can almost visualize my heart being torn and it hurts. Not just the mental pain but the physical pain, unless I’m having a heart attack. I do not think a heart attack could hurt this bad. Just to be safe I’m popping some baby aspirin. I would hate this to be my lasts words not how I plan to go out in this world.

  I had a dream the other night about you, the visual part was vague but the emotional part I’m still nursing. I was taken to this jail cell in a remote place; my captors told me I was never going to see you again. I felt rage coming to the surface of my body and felt like I was being turned inside out. Trapped by steel bars with no weapons, no way out. I wanted to fight everything and everybody it was a strong enough emotion to wake me from a dead sleep. I woke up shaking, sweating and angry. I sat in the dark for a while wondering what the hell I just dreamed about and why is it so strong. It was one of those dreams that hold on to you for a while. Then the grief set in and that’s when the tug on my heart began. Two days later and I still am feeling this way especially after someone reminded me it was 5 years since you left.  Maybe you were sending me a reminder.

 I don’t remember death dates, it’s gruesome really. I’d rather remember your November birthday and how you lived. The dash I call it. It’s the dash on your headstone between your birthday and your death day, that’s all that really matters anyway how someone lived. You died a warrior’s death and to Vikings you are sitting on a throne in Valhalla. I’m sitting in a cell of my own making. I can not let go.

 I can’t let the love of my youth fade, I’m scared it will make me old and forget. I’d rather have that dream every night for the rest of my life if it would mean I could see you just one more time. Tell you I loved you and that you still have that piece of my heart that I left under your pillow one night. I can’t tell you why I am angry. I can only take an educated guess and say that you were taken from us too soon that our lives weaved in and out and our cloth wasn’t finished ,our stories  will be left with blank pages and I think that is what I am feeling. I’m sure there is some guilt rolled in. It had been a very long time since I saw you too long. My cup was close to empty and could kick myself for not reaching out. I ignored my intuition when it was kicking my ass.  I know I should remember the good times the laughs the crazy stuff that is making me smile right now but it still hurts.

 Everywhere I turn I hear your name and I can’t bear to say it even in a whisper it hurts. Even if it’s another person named David, your name feels like a weight that pulls me down in a dark place. I will see something that reminds me of you and feel my eyes start to tear like they are now and I want to be sick. I’ve lost so many important people in my life, I’ve buried both my parents, two siblings and too many friends to name and it never gets any easier. You leaving I think has been the hardest. I remember you telling me one day that we have our memories and no matter what, no one can take them away. I’m going to share mine no matter how bad it hurts I don’t care what people think anymore. I know my cup will never be full again that missing piece of me that died with you unresolved and restless. It helps me to write even though I suck at it. I have to do it. It brings me peace to write it out to know it was real and that you were here. I will bear it well as I should I would rather feel this way than not to have known you at all.

 I hope I will see you in my dreams..Soon..  Xoxox  

ps. and when I do see you I'm kicking your ass for scaring me. My wrestling skills are a lot better than they used to be....

Grand Theft Auto lets bitch!

 I love twitter.  Love the fact I use it as a news feed and some entertainment but I don’t care what Sally Sue had for lunch so I don’t really follow friends. 

 I saw a tidbit on how Grand Theft Auto (the game) promotes criminal actions and I have to speak my mind. I'm taking the article out of context so if you have read it this is not my view on the article but on a sentence in the article.

 My kids play this game; my daughter committed 7 felonies in the first 3 minutes of the game. (I counted)I did note the violence, the fast action and wanted to play myself. I didn’t get very far but that is another story.

I've heard a lot of hype about the game but my opinion is mine and if you don’t like it hit the X on the top right corner of this page and poof! I disappear. 

 As I said my kids play this game. I've watched them play a million times. As my kids got older did they commit crimes? No. Did they think about committing crimes? No. I'm going to tell you why.

 I have a firm belief that if you teach your children good morals and values, it shouldn't matter what they are exposed to, their conscience will pull them back to reality. Simple, said, done..

 I've been married I’ve been a single parent, I've worked two and three jobs at a time but I always made time for my kids. I just didn’t let them sit in front of a media device and not know what they were watching; if you use media as a baby sitter and don’t talk to your kids then they will learn morals from what they watch. Brainwashing kids into social media is not parenting and I know a lot of parents that do just that, You get home from work your tired so sit little Johnny in front of the TV until bed time. I will admit I have done this in the past, guilty as charged but it was not an everyday occurrence. Let me put in there that I am not a crazy say no to everything parent; I don’t x ray everything but observe.

  I’ve let my kids watch and play everything they wanted within reason. The kicker to this introduction is talking to your kids. See what they see and talk about it. As for Grand Theft Auto, Do they know this is just a game? Yes, is this reality? To somewhat no, do they think about committing crimes? No. so forth and so on. I’m going to get off point yet again and talk about music. I never bought censored music I would rather listen to bad language than bleeping. We would have MTV dance parties and I would listen to what they wanted and we would dance, and dance and If I heard black and yellow black and yellow, black and yellow One more fucking time  my head was going to explode but I smiled and danced and watched videos and got into their world and they we happy to share. I don’t dissect everything they see I give them their own privacy and let them make up their own minds and observe. It takes time, energy and patience and more patience. If you don’t want to take the time, don’t have children…

 I understand this is not a parenting bitch, it’s what worked for me and my children and every child is different. I’m not saying I am the best parent but I have given my life to producing children that are strong, open minded loving and kind. One child liked horror movies the other was very afraid of them. I admit I don’t watch them either my imagination is too lively and I know when to say no, and so did my kids. I always told them not to give a fuck what anyone else thinks and not to give into peer pressure. (I taught them ways around that). Both my kids came from broken homes, and have lived through things I can only imagine. Love your kids teach them, dance with them, laugh with them and become them every so often be inside their bubble. It's a job in itself and Fuck where did I put my coffee…hang on.. 

Weddings..I'd rather stick a fork in my eye

Springtime…..blue skies, no humidity. Flowers blooming. My back yard looks like a fairytale garden bursting with beautiful color and smells….Graduations…Parties…..and Weddings….Weddings..There I said it twice.

 I’m not a big fan of weddings, avoid them like the plague, all the planning, the dress, the pictures the mushy music and crying babies, Id rather stick a fork in my eye..

 I went to a wedding over the weekend. I did not stick a fork in my eye. The wedding was a co-workers and I really like them so I thought I would by pass the steely fork and go, eat, greet and leave.

It was amazing……

The wedding was held at a log cabin, its rustic charm made it feel quaint. The wedding party wore non traditional wedding attire one bridesmaid  wore slacks and a blue blouse, the other two had off the rack summer  dresses one was striped , the other was a mixture of blue and the brides dress was a beautiful royal blue with a sequined band around the waist. She looked amazing and I don’t say that about too many brides, I’m usually crying …crying for them and asking myself not to say anything when they get to the “If anyone opposes this marriage” I didn’t jump up and say your making a big big mistake!  The groomsmen all matched and there was even a groom’s woman which I have never seen in a wedding before.. I would have to describe the wedding as elegantly simple.

 They got married on the back porch of the log cabin, hanging lights and a simple arbor was the altar, dusk was just above the horizon and the minister was a female. I’m starting to like weddings…

The bride has 2 children from a previous relationship and I loved the fact they included them into the ceremony and had them say vows of love, hugs and fun while their arms encircled their parents (yes, the groom is adopting the children) The bride and groom both said their own vows and I tried to keep my head down so no one could see the tears rolling out of my eyes. When the I do’s were done and the couple exchanged a very long kiss I was thinking in my sarcastic brain…short, sweet, time to eat!

The reception line was short, the food line was long and the bar line was even longer. I went to the bar line first I needed a drink, the gentleman in front me ordered a concoction of liquor I just wanted a beer I tried cutting line but wasn’t happening with the crowd of people waiting, the room started getting a little warm as I made my way past the back room where the wedding cake and candy was, I saw children hovering over the candy, I was going to take a peek but the food looked too delicious and I didn’t want to get tipsy…

I got tipsy.. (I will get to that later)

I got behind the gentleman in the nice suit in the food line; a lady came by and put some water in his drink. I made an educated guess that she didn’t want him getting tipsy either..(I saw him later he was a little tipsy) he turned to me and I was met with beautiful bright blue eyes and a smile that matched. He motioned to the lady that put the water in his drink and said “that’s my daughter”. I smiled and said “I have a daughter as well “. A few minutes went by my first beer was gone I jumped out of line to get another beer and offered to get the gentlemen in front of me another drink but another lady was standing by him and shook her head at me. He pointed to her and said “my other daughter”. I smiled went back and tipped the bar tender a twenty made sure he saw me put it in the jar that way he would remember me when I cam back for my 3^rd beer.

 When I got back in line behind the gentleman in the suit he said “I have 5 daughters and a son”. I replied “No wonder you drink”. He chuckled and his blue eyes smiled with him. I never did catch his name I was too busy looking at the rolls and hot pepper cheese, olives and fruit to ask. By the time I got through the food line I was down another beer. I went for a refresher and sure enough the bar tender saw me coming and got me another beer had it open by the time I got to the table I put another few dollars in his jar.

 I found my table and nestled in. the food was delicious the beer was cold and I was happy. The music started as darkness came creeping in the Mason jar lights were sprinkled around the tables making the atmosphere cozy, imitate and cool. The conversation was relaxed. I ate what was on my plate and made my way back to the bar. When I got back to the table some of my co workers were out on the dance floor. I don’t line dancing. Line dancing sucks. Id rather watch and take pictures which I did. I figured I could use them as blackmail if needed so I kept taking shots. Crap spilled my beer..Off to the bar yet again, this time the bartender gave me 2 beers so I wouldn’t have to walk back in..I was not buzzing yet so I accepted…that’s a good bartender..Knowing the needs of your patrons.

I lost count after 9 beers but I know I had more than that because every time my ride mentioned they were leaving I would go the rest room suck my beer down and throw the bottle away. I would head back to the table and sit and wait and wander off for another beer if we weren’t leaving I might as well enjoy myself. This happened 3 or 4 times...ok now I was tipsy…I asked the bar tender if he was gay and told him he was gorgeous   and tried to get a co worker to do a table dance for a hundred dollars . I knew that If I didn’t keep snacking on food I would get drunk and tell them what I really thought about them which isn’t a good idea since my boss was there and I do need my job and my ride home.

As always a crying child ..Louder than the music that was booming out of speakers that were bigger than me…Time for another beer…Children and me and beer..Not a good combination for me. I never drank around my kids when they were little for that reason… I just sat down and it was the bride and groom dance..Great...mushy music..I need to throw up and get another beer…This time the conversation at my table turned to our greatest love songs..Someone asked me what mine was and I said “Bodies, by Drowning Pool”. Did I mention I hate mushy music?  If I want to get romantic I’ll pop open a beer and watch a horror movie …I sucked that beer down..Time for another to get away from the conversation.

I winked at the bar tender..Nope..Nothing….might as well give up..

 By my next attempt to get my seat back at the table the alcohol was flowing folks were dancing. The lady in the polka dot dress with the pretty red shoes was having a good time. I didn’t see her drinking anything so I’m guessing she is naturally bubbly..Some of the guests wandered over to our table, how they could avoid us we had the liveliest table I laughed so much my cheeks hurt the next day.  The gentlemen in the nice suit came over, drink in hand and chatted a while. More dancing more food, drink and conversation turned into a melodic melody of song. A pleasant way to spend the evening.

 As we were getting ready to leave I asked a co worker if the ladder over by the wood pile would fit in her car, I said I needed a new ladder, she wandered over to the ladder as I screamed “snake” she jumped so  high I felt the ground move under me. There wasn’t really a snake I just had to do it and no, I didn’t steal the ladder. I thought if I saw her take off her earrings I was running..fast…

Weddings…..are not so bad…we are flipping coins to see who is next..my coin is a wooden nickel. I’d rather stick a fork in my eye then get married again...3rd times a charm who the hell said that? you figured after the first 2 were hell so would the 3rd.. but then again that cute bartender.....................

50 Shades, yes...that is correct...my opinion only matters to me..

 Yes, I read the books, yes I've seen the movie. Yes, I liked the books, no, I did not like the movie..well...
As a 40 ish ish female you would think I would get into the whole 50 shades sex and romance..oh wait. forgot. Mr. Grey does not do romance...ok the whole sex thing but honestly the books that are not on my kindle do not even have creased bindings. Read them once and put them away then moved on.
 Some of my co workers have copies of the books that are literally thread bare..I'm going to give you my perception of the books and movie you can always click the button on the top of this page and poof...I disappear....
 I read the books in order in 3 days, yes I know couldn't put it down and being a speed reader made it all go by quickly. What I liked about the books is the actual story, although If I would have read the last chapter first in the third book Meet Christian Grey  I would have NOT read any further.
 I don't like ass holes. I wanted to punch him in his face and then kick him some more but its fiction it's not real as I had to remind myself.
 Getting back to topic a hem.. I did like the actual story , If you strip away all the bondage and red room of pain stuff and look at the actual relationship between Anna and Christian it becomes a fairytale . Rich guy poor girl and a virgin no doubt.. I'm laughing ..in these times that is a fairytale but that's another post. Off topic yet again.. What I did like about Christian is that he gave Anna what most women want and that is to be cherished he really did care about her and the little details that the movie left out, like when Anna used his toothbrush and wore his underwear home the first night they spent together those little tidbits that could have made the movie more lighthearted. and what of the Music from the books?
 Ah... Music.To be honest that's the one thing I couldn't wait for when I heard they were making a movie. Where was all that beautiful music that I could identify with? The threads of words and melody mixed together to set the emotional part of the book and movie. I identify music with emotion ..again another post..
I heard the faint sounds of Bachianas Brasilerias No.5 when Anna first came to the apartment.. They did put in a little Chopin, and somewhat of Thomas Tallis Spem in Alium of what sounded to be some kind of rendition. Let me be the first to say I'm not a musician, I'm not a writer either as you can probably guess from my misguided grammar..I am a lover of music and the written word. The music set the stage for the story with me. I was disappointed.
 I watching the movie while drinking my morning coffee sitting in my massage chair thought I would multi task  not a good idea..I was wearing coffee and then the dog is trying to jump on me because he wanted to lick it up..gross..pause..change clothes....back to movie.This time with a bowl of yogurt and granola. This was also a bad mistake as I got the part where Anna tells Christian it was nice knowing him and he shows up in her bedroom with a glass of wine and ice..I stopped chewing, spoon in midair  then preceded to choke on my food because I forgot to breathe...pause..change clothes....rewind..replay...then preceded to get some ice water and take deep breaths......
 When the movie was over I turned it off and sat quietly looking at the window thinking about what I just watched. Meh....ok..sex, sex and more sex, I'm sure acting out all of that is not what we see I'm sure its very hard to do that esp being naked for over half the movie..So what does it all mean? I can analyze it all I want it wont make sense to me but in a world where sex sells and reality tv is sex, I'm wondering if people watching this stuff really relate to this or is it just fantasy? Does the younger generation think this is real life? It makes me sad..very sad...
 Sexuality isn't about getting down and dirty, to me anyway...it's not hunky guys or sexy girls for that matter poised in swimsuits or nothing at all. There is a deep connection about being sexual than looks. Call me old fashioned..I think I just look at the emotional side..I've ALWAYS have felt this way even when I was younger, but found it difficult to explain. I see things different than most people.
 I liked the way Christian looked at Anna and when he touched her face. Ive been down the marriage isle 2x and no one has ever done that to me, maybe I am just a romantic..Well my first husband did light candles one night and almost burned the house down luckily I did have a fire extinguisher, that was a real mood killer...
 Sexuality is a touch, a word spoken, a glance, the way someone sips their wine, or walks into a room. the way they sit or greet people, kindness is sexy to me.Messy hair, windblown and a slight hint of a tan, the way skin looks in the sun and the crease around their eyes when they smile or look you in the eye. Simple gestures, no matter what they look like or who they are. It's human nature to ..crap I cant think of the word I want...um...gravitate that's it!....people seem to gravitate toward the pretty ones oh their sexy because they are good looking, face isn't cute but what a body..or vice versa, We are human we all have traits, we all feel, we all love, dream, hope, so forth and so on..we are not products of airbrushed perfection from magazines we are not human barbies and ken dolls. Looks fade, waistlines grow, wrinkles do appear. Off subject again...the bottom line ..I really don't have one. Just my thoughts on ...crap I hit the spell checker and will be working on this post for a while , glad it doesn't have the grammar built into it.....looking out the window..oh a large boat is in my front yard mmmmmmm makes me think of being on the water around sunset, being a little sunburned and the wind in my hair gliding across the water that looks like glass......shit..off subject  yet again....

Took a wrong turn down a country road..

 Took the pups for a jeep ride this afternoon, the sky was dark but a little rain is good for the soul,
and has never stopped me from riding in the wind...
 I turned down a road I haven't gone down before which lead me to a dirt road..I was in heaven, dust flying everywhere the dogs were barking at the dust..I drove for a while until the road had actual gravel on it one lane and looked to be newly grated so I thought I would stop and take a few photos for the blog and saw a house up in the distance if someone was outside I would ask where the road came out at. (no phone service)
 I heard two gun shots..shot gun shots not pistol shots. I decided that taking photos and asking for directions may not be a good idea at the moment. I jumped in the jeep sideways by passed second and third gear and got the fuck out of there.......since Im posting this I made it home safe..no photos was a easy decision..photos...life...hmmmmmm

It's a dogs life

 I took the dogs to the groomers and she said she thought the dogs had ringworm. I came home and told Sarah and she googled it and freaked out because its very contagious...Off to the vet. I had to wait outside in the boiling sun.
 A small fella was next walking his very large 3 legged dog to the front door. I felt sorry for the dog only having 3 legs and a big cone around his neck but that quickly diminished when I realized the pup got around on 3 legs just fine practically dragging his owner and in turn the owner trying to pull up his baggy pants..dammit where is my phone when I need it?
 A van pulled up and 3 kids got out carrying what appeared to be a stuffed animal and some socks? They did not have a pet with them but a few minutes later they came back out and didn't have the toy or the socks so I was guessing they were visiting their dog..poor thing.
 Bentley Jack started barking at a dog that was trying to go potty and its chain smoking owners pulling in through the grass over to the shade when another car pulled up and 4 people got out with a little dog and went in..Really? 4 people to take the dog to the vet? Perception...well let's be an optimist and say that they were going somewhere and decided to stop at the vet's office on the way.
 After the first hour I started getting a little sweaty but kept telling myself..breath...its almost over....people were coming in and out , with pets, without ,  busy for a little vet's office. I parked in the shade under a tree and to late I realized that my windshield was covered in sap..great..now I get to spend the afternoon washing that off...
 Finally it's our turn, the parking lot was empty 2.5 hours later and no ringworm...I'm happy that wasn't the case and that it's just a rash of some sort better safe than sorry. I realized driving home that all the people I saw today, some in new cars, some old, some cars were 3 colors and rusted, smokers, non smokers, cane walkers, wheelchair folks, skinny, fat and so on, but they were all there for the same purpose, to take care of their pets and knowing that those pets will go home happy, healed and loved made the wait seem un  important.. ( and yes, I know this last paragraph is a hugh fragment but the hell with it...)

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day mom, I know your looking down at me from Heaven today..I love you!

The title says it all..

Life: driving, looking out through the cracked windshield of my 1983 CJ-7 Jeep.
 I see life in a raw setting as it is and how I interpret it. This is what my blog will be about.
I"m not a writer (you will be able to tell that by my horrible spelling and grammar). My photo's are taken with a cheap camera, but my stories are all genuine and worth it to me to share. Please share my journey.....lv & hugs..Robin

The first line is always the hardest.

What to say...I think I will start with something that inspires me. My sister gave a copy of this to me when I graduated high school and I have always loved it. Its by Max Ehrmann .

Desiderata - Words for Life

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy............