Springtime…..blue skies, no humidity. Flowers blooming. My
back yard looks like a fairytale garden bursting with beautiful color and
smells….Graduations…Parties…..and Weddings….Weddings..There I said it twice.
I’m not a big fan of
weddings, avoid them like the plague, all the planning, the dress, the pictures
the mushy music and crying babies, Id rather stick a fork in my eye..
I went to a wedding
over the weekend. I did not stick a fork in my eye. The wedding was a
co-workers and I really like them so I thought I would by pass the steely fork
and go, eat, greet and leave.
It was amazing……
The wedding was held at a log cabin, its rustic charm made
it feel quaint. The wedding party wore non traditional wedding attire one bridesmaid wore slacks and a blue blouse, the other two
had off the rack summer dresses one was
striped , the other was a mixture of blue and the brides dress was a beautiful
royal blue with a sequined band around the waist. She looked amazing and I
don’t say that about too many brides, I’m usually crying …crying for them and
asking myself not to say anything when they get to the “If anyone opposes this marriage” I didn’t jump up and say your
making a big big mistake! The groomsmen
all matched and there was even a groom’s woman which I have never seen in a
wedding before.. I would have to describe the wedding as elegantly simple.
They got married on
the back porch of the log cabin, hanging lights and a simple arbor was the
altar, dusk was just above the horizon and the minister was a female. I’m
starting to like weddings…
The bride has 2 children from a previous relationship and I
loved the fact they included them into the ceremony and had them say vows of
love, hugs and fun while their arms encircled their parents (yes, the groom is
adopting the children) The bride and groom both said their own vows and I tried
to keep my head down so no one could see the tears rolling out of my eyes. When
the I do’s were done and the couple exchanged a very long kiss I was thinking
in my sarcastic brain…short, sweet, time
to eat!
The reception line was short, the food line was long and the
bar line was even longer. I went to the bar line first I needed a drink, the
gentleman in front me ordered a concoction of liquor I just wanted a beer I
tried cutting line but wasn’t happening with the crowd of people waiting, the
room started getting a little warm as I made my way past the back room where
the wedding cake and candy was, I saw children hovering over the candy, I was
going to take a peek but the food looked too delicious and I didn’t want to get
tipsy…
I got tipsy.. (I will get to that later)
I got behind the gentleman in the nice suit in the food line;
a lady came by and put some water in his drink. I made an educated guess that
she didn’t want him getting tipsy either..(I saw him later he was a little
tipsy) he turned to me and I was met with beautiful bright blue eyes and a
smile that matched. He motioned to the lady that put the water in his drink and
said “that’s my daughter”. I smiled and said “I have a daughter as well “. A
few minutes went by my first beer was gone I jumped out of line to get another
beer and offered to get the gentlemen in front of me another drink but another
lady was standing by him and shook her head at me. He pointed to her and said
“my other daughter”. I smiled went back and tipped the bar tender a twenty made
sure he saw me put it in the jar that way he would remember me when I cam back
for my 3rd beer.
When I got back in line
behind the gentleman in the suit he said “I have 5 daughters and a son”. I
replied “No wonder you drink”. He chuckled and his blue eyes smiled with him. I
never did catch his name I was too busy looking at the rolls and hot pepper
cheese, olives and fruit to ask. By the time I got through the food line I was
down another beer. I went for a refresher and sure enough the bar tender saw me
coming and got me another beer had it open by the time I got to the table I put
another few dollars in his jar.
I found my table and
nestled in. the food was delicious the beer was cold and I was happy. The music
started as darkness came creeping in the Mason jar lights were sprinkled around
the tables making the atmosphere cozy, imitate and cool. The conversation was
relaxed. I ate what was on my plate and made my way back to the bar. When I got
back to the table some of my co workers were out on the dance floor. I don’t
line dancing. Line dancing sucks. Id rather watch and take pictures which I
did. I figured I could use them as blackmail if needed so I kept taking shots.
Crap spilled my beer..Off to the bar yet again, this time the bartender gave me 2
beers so I wouldn’t have to walk back in..I was not buzzing yet so I accepted…that’s
a good bartender..Knowing the needs of your patrons.
I lost count after 9 beers but I know I had more than that
because every time my ride mentioned they were leaving I would go the rest room
suck my beer down and throw the bottle away. I would head back to the table and
sit and wait and wander off for another beer if we weren’t leaving I might as
well enjoy myself. This happened 3 or 4 times...ok now I was tipsy…I asked the
bar tender if he was gay and told him he was gorgeous and tried to get a co worker to do a table
dance for a hundred dollars . I knew that If I didn’t keep snacking on food I
would get drunk and tell them what I really thought about them which isn’t a
good idea since my boss was there and I do need my job and my ride home.
As always a crying child ..Louder than the music that was
booming out of speakers that were bigger than me…Time for another beer…Children
and me and beer..Not a good combination for me. I never drank around my kids
when they were little for that reason… I just sat down and it was the bride and
groom dance..Great...mushy music..I need to throw up and get another beer…This
time the conversation at my table turned to our greatest love songs..Someone
asked me what mine was and I said “Bodies,
by Drowning Pool”. Did I mention I hate mushy music? If I want to get romantic I’ll pop open a
beer and watch a horror movie …I sucked that beer down..Time for another to get
away from the conversation.
I winked at the bar tender..Nope..Nothing….might as well
give up..
By my next attempt to
get my seat back at the table the alcohol was flowing folks were dancing. The lady
in the polka dot dress with the pretty red shoes was having a good time. I didn’t
see her drinking anything so I’m guessing she is naturally bubbly..Some of the
guests wandered over to our table, how they could avoid us we had the liveliest
table I laughed so much my cheeks hurt the next day. The gentlemen in the nice suit came over,
drink in hand and chatted a while. More dancing more food, drink and
conversation turned into a melodic melody of song. A pleasant way to spend the
evening.
As we were getting
ready to leave I asked a co worker if the ladder over by the wood pile would
fit in her car, I said I needed a new ladder, she wandered over to the ladder
as I screamed “snake” she jumped so high
I felt the ground move under me. There wasn’t really a snake I just had to do
it and no, I didn’t steal the ladder. I thought if I saw her take off her
earrings I was running..fast…
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