I know, I know. It’s been a minute since I posted. But in my defense, I’ve basically been sailing… just not the skinny-sailing kind. More like the “floating around in the same spot for three weeks” kind. Yep, no weight lost. But also none gained — which, let’s be real, is a miracle considering I’ve been living in a house that’s basically a sauna with walls. A steam sauna, please ! do not get Tennessee weather mixed up with the infrared saunas of the South-West. We are not the same!
Because when your AC dies and your thermostat reads 77 degrees inside, motivation dies right along with it, along with the bill and your will to live. Who in their right mind thinks: “You know what would be fun in this heat? Cardio.” Nah. I’m already sweating just walking to the mailbox in my cat slippers. That’s my Olympic event.
So the last few weeks have been me, PT, and not much else. Gym membership? Too expensive. Fighting traffic just to sweat in front of strangers? Nope, not in this lifetime.
And then there’s me and Jack’s little Friday morning ritual. First stop: McDonald’s. Jack calls his sausage-egg-and-cheese griddle a “biscuit.” (Not sure what dictionary he’s reading, but okay, kid.) Then we hit Dunkin. He’s strictly a chocolate glaze or pink-with-sprinkles guy — except he only eats the top. So yeah, I buy him two. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to sneak in a French cruller like it’s not going to ruin my diet. (Spoiler: it ruins nothing but my self-control.) and let's not forget the tea spritzers!
Breakfasts have been the biggest struggle. Eggs, egg whites, avocado, gluten-free toast, oats. Oats. More oats. At this point I could publish a cookbook called Oats 101: 150 Ways to Torture Yourself With the Same Ingredient. Gordon Ramsay wouldn’t even yell at me — he’d just cry into an omelet. Yeah- I'd like to see that. Make me a Martini and get me a chair!
Lunch? Leftovers. Dinner? Plain and simple, and I’m fine with that. But since my brain was melting along with my willpower, I tried AI. Yep, I gave it my pantry list, and it spit out a whole week of meals. It actually worked. (Take that, TikTok “AI is coming for us all” crowd — it can’t even make oats exciting, but it sure can plan a menu.)
Health-wise, I’ve been wrangling thyroid, hormones, and adrenal nonsense. Nothing dramatic — just enough to make me want to throat-punch lab work that never gets ordered.
But today I made a big move: I walked on my lunch break instead of napping. The road by my house is flat, perfect for walking or biking. Downside? The local NASCAR wannabes who use it as a racetrack. So if I don’t show up next week, please have someone check the ditch.
Still here. Still sweating. Still showing up.
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