Just another day in Wonderland from April 2016

  The day starts out the same. The sun is out, the birds are singing and I'm excited to get up and start my day.
I get up, make my morning coffee and get out the  list of what I need to do for the day. I had a full list so I didn't want to linger around the computer.

 By 9:30 I was outside and filling in holes around the yard. Unless you live in a condo you know what happens when your mower tire falls in a hole. You either get stuck, or in my case the mower tips over slightly. Now I'm a big girl who's behind doesn't quite fit  on the mower seat so usually if I hit a hole I'm flying off the mower. Thank goodness for the safety features. Reminds me of my dad. He used to keep the mowers looking like they came off the showroom floor. Although using armor all on the seats isn't a good idea. He wouldn't listen. He should have bought stock in Johnson's paste wax he used it on everything.

When I was living in the basement I heard some thumping one night and a crash. I called upstairs and asked my dad if he waxed the floors. He said "yes". I really didn't have to ask. Johnson's paste wax on the floors really wasn't a good idea, especially on the stairs. He said my grandma would call and ask him if he waxed the floors recently if he said yes she wouldn't come for a visit. Even she knew after a few martini's wood floors become an ice skating rink.

 I got all the holes filled it was time to move on to the weed killer. I love weed killer. Spraying those nasty weeds until they are dead. I looked around in the garage and found the empty bottle of roundup. Damn. no problem a quick trip to Lowes. I needed to pick up some paint anyway so away I go.

 I was driving through town and decided to stop at the dollar store they have these drawer dividers and thought I would pick up a few since it was on the way. The store didn't have any but I did pick up a colorful rug for the front porch. I headed back through town and decided to stop at the cancer auction and check on my bids. I was still the top runner for the Raggedy Ann doll and the spa basket so I made a few other bids and on to Lowes I went. I noticed that the police in town must be very busy today. I passed by two cops that didn't make a complete stop at the stop sign and one failed to signal. When I got out on the main road I saw a cop up ahead weaving in and out of traffic, no signal and speeding. He must of had somewhere important to go since his lights on the top of the car weren't on.

 Lowes..need I say more? Heaven in one place. I decided to focus on what I needed and get back home. I got the weed killer oh look at those cute birdhouses. I did need some bird seed since I fixed grandma's feeders and cleaned them out. So I picked up a bag of seed and a feeder for me. I normally don't feed the birds since I have cats but since they don't go outside much I thought I would place the feeder on the end of the property away from the house. Since I was at the store I looked for a thing to wind the garden hose around they had several different kinds that I looked at, I kept reminding myself it is now 11:45 and I need to move on. I saw the arbor I wanted, It was on sale so I threw it in the cart. Project for later. I must get paint. I went to the paint isle and I was overwhelmed and the spray paint. I didn't know what to get but a nice lady helped me after 30 minutes of staring at red pain I made a choice. Why is red paint so hard to pick out. Its red, all red is the same it's not like shades of blue or green it's RED!

 I checked out and came home. Happy to be back on track. I went to fill up the sprayer and forgot to check the pressure of the wand on the end of the hose. Yep on high, face full of weed killer, all over my good leather sandals. That's what I get for being in a hurry. I went inside cleaned up put my boots on and headed back out. I could hear the weeds laughing. Lucky for me I bought the BIG jug or roundup who's laughing now?  I stayed away from the weeds with flowers since the bees and bugs were feeding on them. I do try and be enviormently friendly. I try and hand pick out the weeds, even at midnight. Midnight gardening is very therapeutic if you can't sleep. That is another story.

 When my chores were done and the dogs were at the groomers I figured it would be a good time to put up the arbor. Smashed my finger trying to get the box open and stabbed myself with the scissors but I kept moving on. I laid out all the pieces made sure I had them all and proceeded to put the arbor together. I hand tightened all the screws since I was scared that my impact driver would split the plastic. After I realized I was sitting in a ant hill I decided that standing up in the hot blaring sun wasn't so bad after all. I figured grandma would come down to see what I was doing. She must have radar or looks out the window alot. She needs a hobby cause that is creepy. I could hear her car pulling up and all I could think about was the scene from the Wizard of Oz where the wicked witch is riding the bike with Toto in the basket. It was the music from that scene that stuck in my head. I know this is not a nice thing to say but It did give me a chuckle.

I told grandma to get in the golf cart and I would take her for a ride and show her all the things I did today. She noticed the trellis that  loose from the wall, and the flower beds still had weeds in them. No problem will put them on the top of my NEW list. I showed her the birdhouses I cleaned them and put feed in them and she kept telling me how expensive bird seed was. I told her to take a cup of seed and every day walk outside and feed the birds. She said she gets out of breath too easy but the whole time we were riding around she talked and wasn't out of breath so go figure. I ignored her and told her I would get her some feed for the humming birds. She told me not to, that she really didn't care about them anymore. hmmmm. Showed her the porch I cleaned off and the old crumbling fountain that I took up and all the flowers that I planted and weeds I pulled and what I sprayed. She said there is lilies in the flowerbed, I said there hasn't been lilies in that flower bed in years. I didn't tell her I sprayed the shit out of weed killer in there this morning. Guess there wont be any lilies in it. I proceeded to drive her around proud of what I accomplished on my day off spending most of  it on her yard. All I could hear was her telling me how my dad kept the place up and how nice it always looked when he was here. I proceeded to tell her that he was retired, didn't work 40 hours a week and take care of 2 houses. Saved by the call from the groomers.........I'm ending here for today. I have to get outside and pressure wash, and fix the trellis and weed grandmas garden...again

I wrote this last April in  2016 and never finished it. The irony is that I am going to Lowes in the morning after I take the dogs to the groomers. The arbor got knocked down by the storm. I'm putting it in the yard sale. I cant get anything to grow on it anyway. Time to clean the bird feeders. I do keep the ones in her yard filled up so she can look out the window at them. The weeds, well I have plans for them again this year and there isn't any lilies in the flowerbed. I dug up a red flower from my yard and put it in hers so she would forget about the lilies. I can truly say I am grateful and humbled that another year has past and we are all still together...