Four days off isn't enough time

 I love to be outside. I wish mother nature felt the same way about me. I've been off for a few days and didn't do squat, Nada, nothing. It was to hot and I have had a heat headache for about a week. That's what I call them, those headaches you get when you stay outside for a while in the humidity. When you wake up you feel like the guy from Pirates of the Caribbean who has the wooden eye and it squeaks, yep that's me the wooden eye guy.

 Now if you have a wooden eye I apologize I am not trying to make fun of you but you have to admit the wooden eye guy from the movie was pretty funny.

 I did the usual, laundry, dishes, scrubbed the toilet, watered the plants and kept water in the fountain outside for the birds. I had plans to clean out the basement.  2316 square feet of crap. I was tempted to call the Salvation Army and have them just take everything antiques and all.

 I feel that I am a simple person so where does all this crap come from? I don't go anywhere or buy anything but my basement looks like an episode of hoarders, minus the 3 year old tuna sandwiches. I've lived in this house for 4 years and still have stuff in boxes in the basement. Fiesta wear anyone? I hate that stuff and yet its packed away with the plates from different states. My mom used to buy a plate from the states we would visit and hang them up in the kitchen. I don't have room for plates I have Ironstone and some pottery collecting dust and cobwebs. I'm keeping the cobwebs until after Halloween.

 I just don't get it. I'm not attached to anything.I don't even have anything of value. The robbers that broke in my house several years back relived me of the valuables.  I could live in a Tepee, just give me music, books and indoor plumbing and I am good to go.

 So I am back to square one. Four days off and haven't accomplished anything except blowing up the lawnmower ( It won't go in gear) My blazer needs a new battery and a new owner. I'm down to one wine glass (damn stone floors) and my jeep needs a new windshield so Its tucked away until I can get that done.Since I can't mow the yard since I blew up the mower I guess I'm forced to get something done. I need another four days plus twenty maybe that's enough time to take off the trash...

plane crash on a deserted island

 My sister told some people she works with the difference between me and her. She said if we were on a plane that crashed on a deserted island she would be the one complaining that they should of packed more food and supplies. She said I would be the one saying "oh look, a barrel of rum let's have a party"...
It was unanimous that her co workers wanted to hang with me on the island. What can I say when life gives you rum throw a party!

Church Picnic? Oh you must not be a Catholic

I was at Kroger and got behind a older couple with what seemed like picnic supplies, table clothes, napkins, potato salad, drinks, and so on. I looked at the guy and said "Party must be at your place this weekend". his wife answered for him, she replied "It's for a church picnic." I looked back in their basket and said "Oh, you must not be Catholics there isn't any beer.". They didn't laugh, I did and so did the check out guy and the people behind me. The women gave me a snooty horrified look and her husband followed behind her. I said to the check out guy "They must be Baptist, me bad"...

Night time swimming #swimming

 Ahhh, night time swimming. The water is cool and calm, I could float forever. The pool light didn't come on, I guess I will have to call the pool man, drain the pool a bit and have him replace the bulb. Easy fix but am kind of glad it doesn't work. I'd be swimming with a thousand bugs hovering over the water. yuck. I have bug lights but who wants to swim in peace and hear bugs getting electrocuted? Not my idea of serenity.  I want quiet so I swam in the dark. Now for a good nights sleep!  Goodnight Beautiful world!

blond moment # 5,432

Blond moment # 5,432

 brought my kindle out by the pool, thought I would read while catching some sun. mmmmm. doesn't come on. I know it's charged. Tried shutting it down, then back on. After several attempts  I took off my sunglasses and hmmmmm screen is on, put sunglasses back on and the damn thing shuts off...

 oops...My sunglasses are the darkest prescription you can get can't see the kindle due to the sunglasses...audio books anyone? 

Neighbors having a party at 3AM #Harley #Drunk #Neighbor

 I read another blogger post about having to deal with noisy neighbors and it made me think of a time when I had the same situation. There is nothing like not getting enough sleep when you have to go to work the next day.

 I was still married at the time my husband was a manager at a telecommunications company and had 2 company phones, a personal phone a pager, yes I said pager and a laptop. Since they went off 24 hours a day outside noises should have not bothered me.

 I was having a good dream,  I was in the shower with Antonio Banderas and he was just about to wash my back when I heard the sound of Harley's being revved up. Dam it! Oh the irony I can't even cheat in my dreams. I looked out the window and saw the neighbors lights on and the sound of expletives and laughter came droning in with lightning speed. My husband now awake came over to the window too. He reached over and grabbed  the phone calling the neighbors. I heard him say "Hey, can you tone the noise down the kids are sleeping and we have to work tomorrow". I heard on the other end my neighbor telling my husband to fuck off and slam the phone down. My husband re dialed and this time he said he was calling the cops, the neighbor replied with "Go fuck yourself" and hung up a second time. I have to admit it was kind of funny but I did have get up in three hours and being a working parent of two children I am already sleep deprived. I started to get on my slippers.

 My husband at this point is turning on the bedroom light and re dialing the the phone for the third time. This time I heard him say, "Hey this is your neighbor, can you tone the noise down we have to work". No response just a dead line.

 I proceeded to put on my fuzzy slippers and walk through the yard over to the neighbors house. When I got there they had the bikes outside revving them up and hollering. When they saw me they all catcalled like I was a long lost relative and told me to come in and join the party. I shouted at them that I was not there to join the party that I had to fucking work the next day and I can't sleep with all the noise going on. You could hear a pin drop except for the really drunk guy that was laughing in the corner. I looked up at 5 or 6 ( I can't remember) men shooting eye daggers at me and their expression spoke for itself. I backed away to the door and told them to keep it down and slammed the door on my way out and where is my husband? yea, like he is a black belt and he can't defend his wife. Just like a man.

 I went back to the house fuming and had thoughts of actually calling the cops. My adrenal glands were pumping so I know I couldn't go back to sleep. I went in the bedroom, my husband already sleeping, and looked out the window. I saw the cars leaving and thought I would lay quietly for a while and calm down when I heard my neighbors truck start and saw the headlights going down the driveway. I said aloud " Oh hell no you just didn't".

 I put the fuzzy slippers back on and jumped in the car and followed my neighbor. I knew where he was going. When I pulled into the store he was already inside, buying more beer and cigarettes no doubt. I stood at the door arms crossed and tapped my foot. I asked him what the hell he was doing, to get his ass in his truck and get back home. he looked at me and said "Awe, come on  you were young once too." I said back "Dad, get in the truck and go back home, now." He did what I asked I took his car keys when we got back home and told him go to bed.

 Yes, my dad is my neighbor. I can look back now and laugh, sometimes I think the apples didn't fall to far from the tree but having kids changes a person. Sometimes I feel like I have another child in him. Maybe he needs a time out.

All I wanted was a nap

 It may have the been the pressure from the rain that was causing my headache or the 50 laps I swam in the pool the night before. Yes, I am exaggerating. I do not remember how many laps I swam but it felt like 50. My muscles were screaming. As I was driving home I thought I would curl up on the back porch and take a little nap before dinner, the rain would make a perfect lullaby.

 It didn't get a nap. I got this instead.

 I made my little nest on the couch with a down filled pillow topper, popped two aspirin, fixed myself a cold drink and laid down. Ah, the slight wind with the sound of the rain made me drift off into bliss. Until the cat started scratching  and meowing on the door. She wanted to curl up too and she would make me regret not including her in the first place since I included the dogs. If you have a cat you know what I am talking about. I got the cat all settled, she won and got my pillow. Ah, back to bliss, until the dog started barking at the cat because he could. No other reason, I think he likes the sound of his voice. I had to bribe the dog with a treat so he would leave the cat alone. It worked for a few minutes until the time I just drifted back to sleep.

 The dog barked at the cat, who hissed at the dog, who jumped at the cat, who swatted the dog and missed and got me instead. Nice, blood on my white pillow topper. By now my headache is turning into a migraine and all I wanted was a nap.

 I finally got everyone settled, got the dogs some bones this time and put the cat on the inside of the couch so the dogs couldn't see her, out of sight out of mind.  The rain picked up a little so I didn't have any trouble drifting back off to sleep again , ah bliss. Until the dogs decided they wanted to lay on the couch with me as well, the flokati rugs I guess weren't comfortable enough for them. One dog was behind my knee the other laid on my hip and it took her a few minutes to get comfortable since she was sliding off. At this point I didn't care all  I wanted was a nap.

 I fell back to sleep until the dogs started playing, thus bumping into the cat who hissed at the dog who barked in my ear. Full on migraine by now, I grabbed the dogs ball and threw it to get them off me. I threw it right into my glass lantern and broke it. I had to move the cat so I could get up and clean up all the glass before the pets cut themselves on it. All I wanted was a nap. I gave up on the porch and went inside I thought maybe if I just sit in the massage chair maybe I can take a nap. This worked great until a salesperson came to the door. I have clear  glass front doors with glass transoms and a row of windows off the porch without any curtains  so if someone comes to the door you cant peek at them first, they are just there. Of course both dogs are barking like crazy and my head is about to pop off. The salesman was nice and friendly I didn't run him off with the shot gun or anything I understand, folks need to make a living. I'm nice like that.

 I went and laid down in bed, my head hurt so bad my pillow felt like a rock, even my hair hurt. The sun started to come out and I have a round window over my bed that does not have a curtain over it. (how do you make a curtain for a round window anyway?) I pulled the covers over my head and slept, slept till dark. I woke up feeling worse then when I laid down I sat up and searched for my glasses in the dark, I know I left them right at the edge of my nightstand. oh, wait. I'm sitting on something..I turned the lamp on and realized I was sitting on my glasses, how the hell did they get in the bed? Luckily I didn't break them but the end pieces that go over your ear were chewed up. Only one thing can do something like that to a pair of glasses. BENTLEY JACK!!!!!!!



 All I wanted was a nap. Not a million dollars, not a dream vacation, just a nap. I still have a headache today not as bad though, I did go swim laps tonight so hopefully a good night sleep will end that and a trip to the eye doctor tomorrow to order some new plastic pieces for my glasses. I got the dog back, I gave him a bath, teach him to chew up my glasses.

 On a side note I've been typing this for almost an hour, and I haven't even hit the spell checker yet. I had to stop at least 3 times to let the cat in, the dog out, the dog back in, let one cat out and one in. the cat decided to lay on my computer while I was gone and erase half of my post when I screeched  I scared the cat who knocked over the router, the phone and spilled my drink.

 I have a new mission, I'm going to start cleaning the basement. I have 2316 square feet of empty space well...take away the furniture, art supplies, Christmas stuff and clothes that leaves 16 square feet. ( kidding) that I am turning into a den, workout room and a pet playroom. I am hoping that this will give them more room to spread out. . Ok karma you had your fun, run along now and bother someone else, all I wanted was a nap.

Bentley Jack, now he is taking a nap!

California dreaming and Tennessee mud #California #Tennessee #Ocean #Mud

I love swimming when the sun just starts going down, the water is calm and sparkly. As the sun  starts to fade the  water gets a shadow. It maybe that way in the early morning but I am not going to get up early and find out. Sunsets always remind me of the beach. I used to live on the beach and would spend most of my time walking, meeting people and relaxing, just taking in the sound of crashing waves and the smell of the sea. it was a good place to reflect. I collected a jar of colored glass and now you can buy it at the store in all different colors.  It was like having an outdoor living room. I remember a time when I wore pants and a jacket at night when I first moved there, people knew I was not a local, but soon afterward I didn't get cold anymore and would just wear a t-shirt over my suit in the summer. Beach hair, didn't care, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.  I can remember that feeling so clearly. After a while the beach became just the beach, the sand, the tar all over everything and the sunsets got less and less meaningful until they were gone and I knew I had to come home.

 Home is Tennessee. Dirt. I missed the dirt the most, that smell of earth in spring when it smells fresh and alive. Driving my jeep up the creek to find a quiet place to soak in the sun and chatter with my girl friends.Driving down dusty dirty roads in cut off jeans and cowboy boots. Jeep hair, don't care, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.

 I love the smell of hay and yes even having to shovel manure. When I go to a farm now and smell that hay and manure mix, I know that I am home.(unless you live on a farm that will not make sense to you)Being lazy in a barn loft on a rainy day is close to heaven. Farm life is hard but that is another post.I never get tired of the country, everyday is a new beginning I get eager to wake up and see what nature is giving me today. I love taking the boat to the river and staying all day from day break to dark, the water at dusk is glass, the river is quiet and all the boats have gone to sleep.It never gets old until days like today when the sun is casting shadows on crystal water and I start to long for the ocean again.

 I always thought if I had a ranch on the beach I would never want for anything ,riding bareback on the sand.....stop...reality check. this aint no romance novel. Maybe I need to plan a vacation back to the beach for a few weeks get my fill, let my cup run over and come back home. Home to dirt, dust, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair.

 Farm life actually sucks, really that may have to be my next post, deballing cows anyone?

View from the pool

The view from the pool today. I was looking up and this is what I saw . I was laying on my float and just floating around thinking, listening. I don't remember even hearing any birds, I did hear an occasional motorcycle and the humm of the pool filter. It was heaven on earth and I enjoyed it so much that I am sunburned even after SPF 50. My farmer tan got darker and the white parts got pink but it will tan off tomorrow. I have to go back to reality and go to work in the morning. 4am comes early..too early..Good night beautiful world. xoxo, how come when I type xoxo I think of the show Gossip Girl. yes I just admitted i watched it. night ya'll

What is it with celebrities and models? #beauty #reality

 What is it with celebrities and models? 

 I was at work taking my lunch and someone left a copy of People magazine on the table. The copy had a photo of Prince William and his new baby Charlotte, so I thought awe how cute, let me look.

 Who are these people? I only saw one face I recognized and that was Ian Somerhalder and his new wife. I did not know he got married I follow ISF on twitter; I must live in a cave. Good for him by the way he seems like an amazing person if what I read is true and am glad he found someone to share his life with. As I was scrolling through the magazine I saw captions that read something like celebrity dating Russian model, celebrity dating Brazilian model who doesn’t speak English, celebrity dating polish model. I could not recall names but WTF? Do we really live in a shallow world? I could also ask myself if I believe everything I read but the photo’s looked like they speak for themselves.  I remember years back reading an article about Leonardo DiCaprio saying he only dates models, well buddy they must be after the $ cause you ain’t no pin up yerself. (Say that with a southern accent)

  You never hear of a celebrity dating a rocket scientist or a model citizen saving the world, feeding the hungry taking care of the poor. I guess being smart and curing diseases isn’t sexy in today’s standards. There is a saying that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Whoever said that must have been blind. If I said I didn’t drool over a hot looking guy I would be a liar. Most guys I know that are considered hot are assholes. 

 There was this guy when I was younger who all the ladies thought he was so hot, he came into my work and put an application in and tried to sweet talk me into putting a good word for him, I threw his application in the trash and he saw me do it. I’m shuddering thinking about it and not in a sexual way in a gross, fucked up bastard kind of way. Where is he now? Toothless, Unemployed, and whats with those jailhouse tattoos? He still thinks he is hot. Maybe I just contradicted myself , perception  and everything but damn.  Beautiful people are a product of the environment they live in. They get more attention, praise and over time get used to getting things they want because they are pretty. I’ve never met a pretty person that ever got a speeding ticket. We have become powerless over beautiful people, same goes for rich folks weather they are pretty or not. That arrogant self that comes from years of getting what they want because of who they are.

 I’m not saying that if you are rich or beautiful you’re ugly on the inside I am not trying to judge, it’s what I have experienced in my life that draws me to conclude. I saw a makeup video from a Victoria secret model and she was talking about fashion and I wanted to send her a fashion for dummies book, I mean really honey it’s called a ruche, even I know that and my clothes come from Goodwill. Her makeup tip didn’t work; did she invent this from her crayon box? and honey hire a maid the grout in your bathroom is disgusting. I would be ashamed to even post that, I guess she thought everyone would be looking at her. 

 I am not one of the beautiful people, if I was I wouldn’t be writing this. I would be writing about ugly people and how they should all be sent to an island so the pretty people can have the world to themselves. I even heard from someone that my older sister was my dad’s favorite because she was the prettiest. Thanks dad.

  We live in a society that reels on what we look like on the outside. It is shoved down our throats every time we turn on the TV or worse surf the net. I saw some photo’s of young mothers taking booty shots, one mother was taking a selfie in the bathroom while her child was in the bathtub behind her obviously falling under the water you could see his feet kicking. I couldn’t look anymore. Is that really what people think this world is about? I’m getting sick and angry.

 My boss always says perception is everything; it is not, only the shallow people see what’s on the surface. For example I read a twitter post of a young DJ at a resort looking at his phone and they put a caption on the photo as something like DJ hard at work checking his face book. I looked at it and thought maybe he was looking up some music or something for his job, maybe his boss was texting him, or maybe it was his wife or other half saying he had a sick child at home. The photo was put out there for the world to see the perception of one person. We think if someone has white chalky  teeth they are healthy, or if they are skinny and pretty they are perfect. I saw a photo of a model and the caption read she has an amazing body. Really? She is almost 6 feet tall and is all arms and legs, no boobs, no butt, no muscle tone and she is amazing? I’m sorry but if I reverse that I want a man with a little bit of meat on him, you know something to grab on to. Ahem. I will stop there. Do you think a celebrity would post photos of themselves on instgram without being doctored first? We the consumers think this is real beauty. Estee Lauder had a makeup campaign with a model showing flawless skin that looked plastic. I have used Estee for years and my skin doesn’t resemble that. I quit using their products. I’m not a scientist but I’m guessing good ol’ genes have a lot to do with that to start with.

 Beautiful and sexy doesn’t have to come in the obvious forms. I can go on and tell you my views on that (read my 50 shades post) I can rant and rave and will it make a difference? Probably not. Do I care if I have offended anyone? No, you can argue with me, agree with me or UN friend or follow me. My opinion to me is all that matters..

Jeep riding with the pups

during 

after..I took a nap too lol 

Ozzy, black nail polish and cowboy boots

 High school, I really really do not want to go there but I will for the sake of my love for music.  I saw a post from Classic Music FM about teaching theory to kids and it reminded me of high school. I won’t elaborate but I will say I was not a studios child I was the cool kid. Cool kids didn’t take theory classes, not until I came along in my Ozzy shirt and black nail polish.

 The break area was outside the music room so we got to see the nerdy kids leaving class, we didn’t speak, and it was so awkward you could hear a pin drop. I dropped the idea that one of us should take the class just to piss them off; as my luck would have it I got nominated since I was the only one of my group that had any musical experience. Inside I was happy; I found a loop hole in!

 I showed up the first day and every day after in my usually attire of band t-shirts, cowboy boots and flannel shirts. I made some nerdy friends, they were actually kind of cool although I would never admit that. I learned a lot and even had to sing which I hated since I was the only person in my class that wasn’t in the choir. My teacher treated me like the other kids, I wasn’t singled out because of the way I looked I even liked her as well and stayed after one day and played a piece by Chopin. She was impressed that I knew more about Beethoven than she did and that I had a passion for knowledge and appreciated music being so young.  I didn’t care anymore that the cool kids could see me through the window. I wasn’t inducted into the nerdy kid’s society by any means I was still the cool kid that could play Chopin, and Zeppelin, and sometimes both at the same time. I said that correctly. Try it sometime.

  My music teacher even said she would put me in the chorus. I declined I wasn’t ready for the world to see me in a robe with my  Ozzy shirt, black nail polish, and cowboy boots.